No Greater Love: Four Types of Love

Last week we determined that love should not be a fickle or weak emotion, but rather an action and a choice we choose to carry out towards people regardless of our feelings towards them. While I don't want to backtrack or say that we were wrong last week (there is a biblical love that IS an emotion), I do want to take a minute to talk about all the types of love mentioned in the bible and their root context and meaning in the Ancient Greek language...

There are FOUR biblical words for LOVE, each with a different meaning. Agápe, éros, philía, and storgē. In this post, I plan to explain each one and the context in which it should be used...

Éros

An article from Wikipedia explaining the types of love said this about Éros.

"Éros (ἔρως érōs[2]) is "physical" passionate love, with sensual desire and longing. Romantic, pure emotion without the balance of logic. "Love at first sight". The Modern Greek word "erotas" means "intimate love;" however, eros does not have to be sexual in nature. Eros can be interpreted as a love for someone whom you love more than the philia, love of friendship. It can also apply to dating relationships as well as marriage."

I disagree with the last part of this when we study the scriptural context of the éros form of love. Another article from awmi.net backs up that the bible clearly states that éros is reserved for the sexual love between one husband and one wife.

"EROS - sexual passion; arousal, its gratification and fulfillment. This Greek word is not used in the New Testament, probably because its origin came from the mythical god Eros, the god of love. It is inferred in many scriptures and is the only kind of love that God restricts to a one-man, one-woman relationship within the bounds of marriage (Song 1:13, 4:5-6, 7:7-9, 8:10; 1Co 7:25; Eph 5:31; and Heb 13:4)."

This is the kind of love that a Christian should ONLY practice from the wedding night and on with their husband or wife. Sexual desire and passion IS a good thing and a HOLY thing, but should be reserved for the bed of marriage.

Philía

From Wikipedia...
Philía (φιλία philía[3]) is "mental" love. It means affectionate regard or friendship in both ancient and modern Greek. This type of love has give and take. It is a dispassionate virtuous love, a concept developed by Aristotle. It includes loyalty to friends, family, and community, and requires virtue, equality and familiarity. In ancient texts, philos denoted a general type of love, used for love between family, between friends, a desire or enjoyment of an activity, as well as between lovers.

From awmi.net...
PHILEO - friendly love based on feelings or emotions. We could describe "PHILEO" love as tender affection, delighting to be in the presence of someone, or a warm or good feeling toward someone that may come and go with intensity.

Basically phileo or philía love is simply the emotional aspect of a friendship or relationship. The way that I remember this is simple. The word "feel" is practically in the pronunciation of this Greek word.

Storgē

From Wikipedia...
Storge (στοργή storgē[4]) means "affection" in ancient and modern Greek. It is natural affection, like that felt by parents for offspring. Rarely used in ancient works, and then almost exclusively as a descriptor of relationships within the family. It is also known to express mere acceptance or putting up with situations, as in "loving" the tyrant.

Storgē love is simple. It purely means the love shared within a family. This shouldn't really need further explanation.

Agápe

From Wikipedia...
Agápe (ἀγάπη agápē[1]) means love in a "spiritual" sense. In the term s'agapo (Σ'αγαπώ), which means "I love you" in Ancient Greek, it often refers to a general affection or deeper sense of "true unconditional love" rather than the attraction suggested by "eros." This love is selfless; it gives and expects nothing in return. Agape is used in the biblical passage known as the "love chapter," 1 Corinthians 13, and is described there and throughout the New Testament as sacrificial and spiritual love. Whether the love given is returned or not, the person continues to love (even without any self-benefit). Agape is also used in ancient texts to denote feelings for one's children and the feelings for a spouse, and it was also used to refer to a love feast. It can also be described as the feeling of being content or holding one in high regard. Agape is used by Christians to express the unconditional love of God.

From awmi.net...
AGAPE - God's type of love; the highest kind of love. AGAPE is seeking the welfare or betterment of others even if there is not affection felt (paraphrase based on "Happiness Explained" by Bob Rigdon). AGAPE does not have the primary meaning of affection nor of coming from one's feelings.

This type of love is really the MOST IMPORTANT type of love for us to understand. This is the type of love that God, Himself has for us. THIS is the love that HE demands that we show for others...

Imitate God, therefore, in everything you do, because you are his dear children. (Ephesians 5:1 NLT)

But anyone who does not love does not know God, for God is love. (1 John 4:8 NLT)

I share these verses with you so you can see that WE are to be imitators of God who, not only loves, but IS love. If we are to imitate Him, then we need to love the way He loves. In all things, we need to love without condition, expect nothing in return, no matter the cost.

Agápe thinks of others first.
Agápe cares for those who lack.
Agápe gives knowing to receive nothing in return.
Agápe innocently takes the death penalty as a substitution for a stranger.

Agápe is eternal, agápe is incorruptible, and agápe is the love that GOD operates in.

Agápe is what WE should operate in.

No Greater Love: What is Love?

Before I get into this new series, I have to commend our students and the 8:37 students on a job well done at the spaghetti dinner they put on Friday night. The SGG Youth Department hosted a spaghetti dinner this past Friday. It was donation based and all proceeds went to the youth groups to fund future events and growth projects. It was a learning experience and it was great to see the students serve.

Now, the new series...

All this month long we are talking on the concept of LOVE. During this Valentine's Holiday season where we see a commercialized version of love, used to make the greeting card companies rich, I want to take the time to teach you what TRUE LOVE really is!

Today in Hollywood we see love defined in several different ways...


The fairy tale...
The love/hate romantic comedy...
The hopeless nerd in relentless pursuit of a cheerleader...
The butterflies in the belly...
The clammy palms and nervousness...

The FEELS!


But, how can we define LOVE?

The definition we find for LOVE at dictionary.com is as follows...

Love
noun
1. a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.
2. a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend.
3. sexual passion or desire.

But does Webster's definition match up to God's definition of love?

Decide for yourself...

Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. (1 Corinthians 13:4-7 NLT)

What is love? I think Paul summed it up very well. But is the summary all there is to it, or should we search for a deeper understanding on this passage?

I've heard a story this week in my AFCM certification course that inspired the way I look to define things.

There was a man who took a block of wood and carved it into a beautiful statue of an elephant. Every detail was perfectly crafted down to the wrinkles in the elephants skin, the flecks in it's eyes, and the hairs at the end of it's tail. Then one of his friends asked him when he had started sculpting and asked him if he had been formally trained. The man who sculpted the elephant responded that he had NEVER done a sculpture before and had NEVER been trained. Astounded and confused, his friend asked him how on earth he created such a fine sculpture. His response was simple. "I looked at the block of wood and I removed everything from it that didn't look like an elephant."

Sometimes for us to fully figure out what something IS, we also have to figure out what it ISN'T.

So what ISN'T love?

Love isn't proud or boastful. Love isn't rude. Love is not irritable or unforgiving. If we study the Corinthian chapter of love (13), you'll see astounding evidence that love is NOT an emotion, but something that takes action. Pride comes from emotion, irritability is emotion, bitterness (or lack of forgiveness) is caused by hurt feelings and emotions, LOVE is NOT an emotion.

Reviewing the dictionary definition of love, along with Hollywood's example, I find it is entirely flawed. Love is not a noun, but a verb. Love is an action that you choose to carry out, not a fickle emotional feeling that can change in a whim. Hollywood has made "true love" out to be romance and butterflies, flowers and hot dates, attraction and sex. Now in their proper context, none of these things are wrong, but out of the context of marriage they can not only be sinful, but can be physically and mentally damaging. Making the concept of love into an emotional thing isn't just unbiblical, but it cheapens love in the eyes of the public and allows it to be viewed as disposable and exchangeable. This is why a harsh majority of marriages end in divorce. Once the "feelings" die off, the couple feels that they have fallen out of love and look elsewhere...

Friends, there is no such thing as falling out of love, only choosing not to be in it anymore.

Love is a choice for anyone to be in. Make no mistake, emotions play a major part in it, but you choose to act in love and you choose to fight for it once the emotions fade.

If this lesson causes even one of you to understand that relations with the opposite sex are sacred and not to be thrown around like the cheap representation that Hollywood feeds us, then I have done my job. In the coming weeks I will attempt to teach you how this view of love applies to more than just a relationship with a spouse, but should also be applied to everyone you encounter. Think on this throughout the week and try to make a conscious effort to show love to others, even when your emotions don't want to.

All Things New: Signs [How Do We KNOW We've Changed?]

During this month we've studied how TO change and what enables us TO change. We've discussed that Jesus paid our debt on the cross and that we owe Him our lives and sacrifice to fulfill our end of the covenant.

One thing I left out of last week's post is that is up to YOU to find out what Christ's standard for your life is. If you don't know where to start searching, Matthew Chapters 5-7 creates a fantastic overview of His standard.

But HOW are you supposed to know that YOU HAVE changed?

What are the SIGNS!?

Is there anything we can use as an indication that we have really become that new creation?

"You can identify them by their fruit, that is, by the way they act. Can you pick grapes from thornbushes, or figs from thistles? A good tree produces good fruit, and a bad tree produces bad fruit. A good tree can’t produce bad fruit, and a bad tree can’t produce good fruit. So every tree that does not produce good fruit is chopped down and thrown into the fire. Yes, just as you can identify a tree by its fruit, so you can identify people by their actions." (Matthew 7:16-20 NLT)

Jesus explains in the above verse that you will know true Christians by the fruits they produce. So what fruits should a Christian be producing?

But the fruit of the [Holy] Spirit [the work which His presence within accomplishes] is love, joy (gladness), peace, patience (an even temper, forbearance), kindness, goodness (benevolence), faithfulness, Gentleness (meekness, humility), self-control (self-restraint, continence). Against such things there is no law [that can bring a charge]. (Galatians 5:22, 23 AMP)

So let's focus on a these fruits individually...

The bible is clear the LOVE should be the center of the Christian life.

Dear friends, let us continue to love one another, for love comes from God. Anyone who loves is a child of God and knows God. But anyone who does not love does not know God, for God is love. (1 John 4:7, 8 NLT)

Three things will last forever—faith, hope, and love—and the greatest of these is love. (1 Corinthians 13:13 NLT)

The GREATEST of these is LOVE.

This means that our every action should be motivated by LOVE. This will branch out into all the other fruits. For if God is love and Jesus is the vine, all other fruits must be born of love.

When it comes to harvesting crops, you cannot expect to get something different that what you planted. Jesus illustrated that in one of the above passages. A farmer can't plant corn and grow potatoes. A Christian can't plant hate and receive love.

The rest of the fruits should reflect this love. When you share love you will receive joy and continue to share joy with others. NOTHING should be able to take your joy away. You should have something in you that makes other people wonder why you are always happy, even when things seem bad. Joy!

The Christian life should be FULL of peace. Even in the midst of trials you should have no fear of the outcome because of your faith that God will have your back. God IS love and as John writes, "perfect love expels all fear." Although I'm aware that his context was of fear or punishment I believe that this relates to understanding our peace in Christ as well.

Patience. John 16:33 guarantees that we will have struggles and Romans 8:17 states that if we are to share in Christ's glory we must also share in His sufferings. It is clear that we will have trouble and making it through this world will require patience. We have to be understanding with others as God is understanding with us as Christ tells us in Matthew 7:2, "For you will be treated as you treat others. The standard you use in judging is the standard by which you will be judged." Being patient with others is a quality of love and a fruit of His Spirit.

This quality extends to kindness which Christ teaches us simply by the golden rule. "Do to others as you would have them do to you." (Luke 6:31 NIV)

Goodness or benevolence is simply an extension of kindness in acting to care for others who can't care for themselves. This is the only acceptable form of "religion" in God's eyes. "Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you." (James 1:27 NLT)

Faithfulness -- Faithfulness is in a sense another term for obedience. As I have explained before, we don't obey God out of fear of punishment or to avoid hell, but we obey Him because we have FAITH that His word and rule is for our best interest and we believe that His ways are better than our own. If you obey His laws out of faith, you are bearing this fruit.

Gentleness, meekness, and humility is simply the opposite of being proud or boastful. It's okay to acknowledge the gifts God has given you as long as you don't seek the praise for yourself. In all things seek the glory of God.

Lastly, self-control. Following Christ means practicing restraint from the sins that used to control you. If you say you belong to Christ, but keep turning back to the sins that separated you from God in the first place, your fruit isn't matching the Vine.

If we back up a few verses in Galatians, we can also see the type of fruit that comes from the flesh. These are the things that should not be seen in the life of a Christian.

When you follow the desires of your sinful nature, the results are very clear: sexual immorality, impurity, lustful pleasures, idolatry, sorcery, hostility, quarreling, jealousy, outbursts of anger, selfish ambition, dissension, division, envy, drunkenness, wild parties, and other sins like these. Let me tell you again, as I have before, that anyone living that sort of life will not inherit the Kingdom of God. (Galatians 5:19-21 NLT)

It is clear that the Spirit breed LOVE and selflessness into us while our flesh breeds only pride and selfishness. Love is the fruit we strive for. In the coming month we are diving further into the topic of love, so for now let me leave you with a scripture that describes how important love truly is...

If I speak with human eloquence and angelic ecstasy but don’t love, I’m nothing but the creaking of a rusty gate. If I speak God’s Word with power, revealing all his mysteries and making everything plain as day, and if I have faith that says to a mountain, “Jump,” and it jumps, but I don’t love, I’m nothing. If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don’t love, I’ve gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I’m bankrupt without love. (1 Corinthians 13:1-7 MSG)

Pray on these things this week and ask God daily to allow you to bear the fruits of the spirit. God bless you until next week...