Last week we determined that love should not be a fickle or weak emotion, but rather an action and a choice we choose to carry out towards people regardless of our feelings towards them. While I don't want to backtrack or say that we were wrong last week (there is a biblical love that IS an emotion), I do want to take a minute to talk about all the types of love mentioned in the bible and their root context and meaning in the Ancient Greek language...
There are FOUR biblical words for LOVE, each with a different meaning. Agápe, éros, philía, and storgē. In this post, I plan to explain each one and the context in which it should be used...
Éros
An article from Wikipedia explaining the types of love said this about Éros.
"Éros (ἔρως érōs[2]) is "physical" passionate love, with sensual desire and longing. Romantic, pure emotion without the balance of logic. "Love at first sight". The Modern Greek word "erotas" means "intimate love;" however, eros does not have to be sexual in nature. Eros can be interpreted as a love for someone whom you love more than the philia, love of friendship. It can also apply to dating relationships as well as marriage."
I disagree with the last part of this when we study the scriptural context of the éros form of love. Another article from awmi.net backs up that the bible clearly states that éros is reserved for the sexual love between one husband and one wife.
"EROS - sexual passion; arousal, its gratification and fulfillment. This Greek word is not used in the New Testament, probably because its origin came from the mythical god Eros, the god of love. It is inferred in many scriptures and is the only kind of love that God restricts to a one-man, one-woman relationship within the bounds of marriage (Song 1:13, 4:5-6, 7:7-9, 8:10; 1Co 7:25; Eph 5:31; and Heb 13:4)."
This is the kind of love that a Christian should ONLY practice from the wedding night and on with their husband or wife. Sexual desire and passion IS a good thing and a HOLY thing, but should be reserved for the bed of marriage.
Philía
From Wikipedia...
Philía (φιλία philía[3]) is "mental" love. It means affectionate regard or friendship in both ancient and modern Greek. This type of love has give and take. It is a dispassionate virtuous love, a concept developed by Aristotle. It includes loyalty to friends, family, and community, and requires virtue, equality and familiarity. In ancient texts, philos denoted a general type of love, used for love between family, between friends, a desire or enjoyment of an activity, as well as between lovers.
From awmi.net...
PHILEO - friendly love based on feelings or emotions. We could describe "PHILEO" love as tender affection, delighting to be in the presence of someone, or a warm or good feeling toward someone that may come and go with intensity.
Basically phileo or philía love is simply the emotional aspect of a friendship or relationship. The way that I remember this is simple. The word "feel" is practically in the pronunciation of this Greek word.
Storgē
From Wikipedia...
Storge (στοργή storgē[4]) means "affection" in ancient and modern Greek. It is natural affection, like that felt by parents for offspring. Rarely used in ancient works, and then almost exclusively as a descriptor of relationships within the family. It is also known to express mere acceptance or putting up with situations, as in "loving" the tyrant.
Storgē love is simple. It purely means the love shared within a family. This shouldn't really need further explanation.
Agápe
From Wikipedia...
Agápe (ἀγάπη agápē[1]) means love in a "spiritual" sense. In the term s'agapo (Σ'αγαπώ), which means "I love you" in Ancient Greek, it often refers to a general affection or deeper sense of "true unconditional love" rather than the attraction suggested by "eros." This love is selfless; it gives and expects nothing in return. Agape is used in the biblical passage known as the "love chapter," 1 Corinthians 13, and is described there and throughout the New Testament as sacrificial and spiritual love. Whether the love given is returned or not, the person continues to love (even without any self-benefit). Agape is also used in ancient texts to denote feelings for one's children and the feelings for a spouse, and it was also used to refer to a love feast. It can also be described as the feeling of being content or holding one in high regard. Agape is used by Christians to express the unconditional love of God.
From awmi.net...
AGAPE - God's type of love; the highest kind of love. AGAPE is seeking the welfare or betterment of others even if there is not affection felt (paraphrase based on "Happiness Explained" by Bob Rigdon). AGAPE does not have the primary meaning of affection nor of coming from one's feelings.
This type of love is really the MOST IMPORTANT type of love for us to understand. This is the type of love that God, Himself has for us. THIS is the love that HE demands that we show for others...
Imitate God, therefore, in everything you do, because you are his dear children. (Ephesians 5:1 NLT)
But anyone who does not love does not know God, for God is love. (1 John 4:8 NLT)
I share these verses with you so you can see that WE are to be imitators of God who, not only loves, but IS love. If we are to imitate Him, then we need to love the way He loves. In all things, we need to love without condition, expect nothing in return, no matter the cost.
Agápe thinks of others first.
Agápe cares for those who lack.
Agápe gives knowing to receive nothing in return.
Agápe innocently takes the death penalty as a substitution for a stranger.
Agápe is eternal, agápe is incorruptible, and agápe is the love that GOD operates in.
Agápe is what WE should operate in.